Category Archives: Mommy Inc.

A little home for inspiration for Parents

i-n-d-e-p-e-n-d-e-n-t…do you know what that means?

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Irony can be such a fickle beast, or your eccentric best friend.  I was talking to my daughter and her bff last night about being an independent woman, and having no shame in that.  About never putting yourself in a position to have to ask a man for anything.

Then today, I find this awesome blog called The Fickle Heartbeat, http://wp.me/p4sXoP-65, and this post http://suitsandglutes.wordpress.com/2014/06/05/miss-independent/.  The first quote of the article almost slapped me in my face with my grandmother’s spirit.  If I didn’t know better, I would’ve thought my grandmother was ghostwriting that post!

Independence is truly the most profound lesson that my grandmother taught me.  I remember when I turned 16, she shared some candid stories and advice about protecting myself and falling in love.  It was pressing on my heart to share these stories with my daughter and her friends, who affectionately call me Mom too.

I plan on writing a ‘listicle’ for The Fickle Heartbeat about lessons to impart to our daughters.  But I want to address a different vein of the same arm here.  And maybe this vein will generate another opportunity for a ‘listicle’.  My biggest concern is that all this talk is for naught, if your daughter does not truly understand what it means to be an independent person. 

I was honestly annoyed at my own daughter in speaking to her and her friend last night.  It wasn’t so much that she did anything disrespectful, just typical teen behavior, like, here goes my mom…again.  I could see I had her attention for the first few minutes but she soon became distracted and the intensity of the conversation totally took a turn.  Despite that fact that her best friend was listening intently, I was completely distracted by my own daughter’s lack of interest, and I could see it was eeking over into her friend’s ability to focus.

She’s probably heard these conversations a thousand times, so I can borderline understand her lack of interest, but still.  It came to me in reading the post I referenced, that maybe the issue isn’t the topic, but her lack of understanding of the topic. 

We can wonk at our kids all day like the teacher from Charlie Brown, but do they really hear us?  I can teach her all about being an independent young lady and making progress for herself, on her own.  But will any of those seeds take root if the foundation is not strong enough to feed the seed?  Foundation being an understanding of what independence truly is and why its so important…not just teaching about how to be independent. 

As much as I sometimes tire of hearing myself speak, lol, I think another conversation is due.  Success, in my opinion, is truly rooted in a person’s ability to take on a task and master it for themselves.  ‘Each one teach one’ is difficult if you don’t pay attention to the initial lesson yourself.  You’ll mess around and teach the wrong things…and you are accountable for everything, I mean everything, that you teach or pass on to others.  Set an appropriate foundation and watch the fruit blossom.

~ Proverbs 28:10 Whoever misleads the upright into an evil way will fall into his own pit, but the blameless will have a goodly inheritance.

Your turn ~ What advice would you give about teaching the meaning of independence?  Or, what have you been taught about independence that you found invaluable? 

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Plan B Aftermath: We Must Talk To Our Daughters About Sex

Plan B Aftermath: We Must Talk To Our Daughters About Sex.

I recently signed up to recieve daily inspirations from a website I stumbled upon called  www.empoweringeverydaywomen.com.  The websites founder, Dianna Hobbs, is a great source for inspiration and reflection.

The recent ruling regarding Plan B is a great concern for me, being the mother of a soon to be 14 year old daughter.  Having teenagers is a journey beyond any other, but with this decision coming down, our jobs have parents have become even more difficult than before. 

I have been in daily prayer as to guidance about how to talk to and be patient with my maturing daughter.  I felt like God answered my prayer, and since it helped me so much, I wanted to share this and hope that it will bless others as well.

Please go check out the website.  I’m sure you’ll be inspired as well. 

And leave me some feedback about your feelings about the recent decision regarding Plan B, and any tips on how you handle or approach teaching moments with your children.

ttyl all,

Selah 😉

Generational Blessing

June 6 is a significant day. The day my grandmother was called home to God. My grandparents raised me and my little big brother (my nickname for him cuz he’s younger than me but bigger than me) and my cousin. I didn’t realize when I was younger what a blessing that was. When this day comes around each year, I can’t help but think about how much I miss her and how she influenced me, as a woman and a mother.

We were very sheltered kids, but having kids of my own now, I can appreciate why they were so protective over us. So many times I want to tell my kids “No you can’t” go here or there, but I do want my kids to experience things outside of the walls of our home. Lets face it. We can’t keep them locked away forever, but we can give them the tools to help them protect themselves and make good decisions. Hopefully. 😌
I believe that’s what my grandparents did. My grandma had a story for everything! Her little catch phrases and her stories about growing up on the farm and traveling with my grandfather and the Army, provided wisdom that I sadly didn’t truly appreciate until I was grown with kids of my own.

Even though we didn’t go out much, my friends were always welcomed in our house. A good friend of mine reminded me of that via my FB post about missing my gram. She treated my friends like her grands, and that taught me so much. Even though me and my friends went through our issues, good and bad, she always helped us celebrate or pick up the pieces. And she always had some good sweets to top it all off. Lol.

I try to be the same for my kids friends. It’s such a fine line to walk, being able to be trusted and kind of cool, but clear that you are parent and not friend. It amazes me sometimes how open my daughters friends are with me. Thank God it’s never been anything inappropriate, but I’ve been able to help them understand their parents point of view a little better.

I’ve had to check some behaviors and call some kids out, in front of their own parents. My love and care isn’t confined to our little hutch in this big world! I laugh sometimes because I’ll find myself repeating my grandmother verbatim and think, “Oh Lord, I am getting old!” And as frank as I am and how much I preach, for some reason they still want me around. For now. Lol!

My grandmother was everyone’s mom. Young or old, you could come to Grace and know she would find some way to help you, to bless you. Isn’t that what grace will do for you, according to our God? Ain’t it funny how He works. 😌

Just a Word

Anyone who knows me knows I’m a talker. I’ll talk about any and everything! Especially when it comes to my kids. I truly feel if we just take the time to talk to them, really talk to them (not just the superficial “Hey, How was school?”), we could learn a lot about them and they can learn a lifetime from us.

Over the last week I talked to my little short people about time management. Although I didn’t quite use those words, lol! I tried to explain and use the morning as an example. For instance, if you want to watch cartoons in the morning before school, make sure you wake up on time and don’t dilly dally while you are getting ready. Pretty basic concept, except to my 4 year old soldier Micah. I think he loves sleep as much as his momma!

Last night our discussion was about time and cleanliness. They love to camp out in the living room, all cuddled up together between the couches. It’s so cute, that I often let them sleep out there several nights during the week. But the issue became them leaving blankets and pillows all over my living room…every morning. So we had a nice little chat last night. Lol.

Sometimes I feel like my talks go on overkill, because I’m trying so hard to hammer the point into their heads in ways they won’t forget. Or I think they are just nodding their cute little heads just to get me to be quiet already. 🙂

I was pleasantly surprised this morning when I woke up with the 7 am alarm and everyone was already up. The living room was clean, everyone was dressed…and matching…and fed…and clean…at 7..am…with smiles and generous ‘Good Morning Mommy’s. I had to take a minute to wipe the crust out of my eyes and say “Am I still sleep?” Lol.

The talk worked! For now…Lol. But it truly was the greatest feeling in the world. Not just to see the kids get it all together, but just to know that they were really truly listening means the world to me. It means my kids care what I think and feel about them. They delight in making me happy and are very remorseful when they know they have disappointed me. It’s a beautiful relationship that we share. And I make sure they know that all of that work isn’t just so we look good, and people like us. All that work isn’t even really about pleasing me. It’s about guiding them towards their purpose in life. It’s pushing towards them having a stronger relationship with God, and having the desire to please Him in and with everything that we do.

I know I’m a proud parent this morning and I pray and believe that God is too!
Lets see what happens on Monday!! 😉

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