Category Archives: The Short People in My Life

Posts about my lovely little ones

i-n-d-e-p-e-n-d-e-n-t…do you know what that means?

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Irony can be such a fickle beast, or your eccentric best friend.  I was talking to my daughter and her bff last night about being an independent woman, and having no shame in that.  About never putting yourself in a position to have to ask a man for anything.

Then today, I find this awesome blog called The Fickle Heartbeat, http://wp.me/p4sXoP-65, and this post http://suitsandglutes.wordpress.com/2014/06/05/miss-independent/.  The first quote of the article almost slapped me in my face with my grandmother’s spirit.  If I didn’t know better, I would’ve thought my grandmother was ghostwriting that post!

Independence is truly the most profound lesson that my grandmother taught me.  I remember when I turned 16, she shared some candid stories and advice about protecting myself and falling in love.  It was pressing on my heart to share these stories with my daughter and her friends, who affectionately call me Mom too.

I plan on writing a ‘listicle’ for The Fickle Heartbeat about lessons to impart to our daughters.  But I want to address a different vein of the same arm here.  And maybe this vein will generate another opportunity for a ‘listicle’.  My biggest concern is that all this talk is for naught, if your daughter does not truly understand what it means to be an independent person. 

I was honestly annoyed at my own daughter in speaking to her and her friend last night.  It wasn’t so much that she did anything disrespectful, just typical teen behavior, like, here goes my mom…again.  I could see I had her attention for the first few minutes but she soon became distracted and the intensity of the conversation totally took a turn.  Despite that fact that her best friend was listening intently, I was completely distracted by my own daughter’s lack of interest, and I could see it was eeking over into her friend’s ability to focus.

She’s probably heard these conversations a thousand times, so I can borderline understand her lack of interest, but still.  It came to me in reading the post I referenced, that maybe the issue isn’t the topic, but her lack of understanding of the topic. 

We can wonk at our kids all day like the teacher from Charlie Brown, but do they really hear us?  I can teach her all about being an independent young lady and making progress for herself, on her own.  But will any of those seeds take root if the foundation is not strong enough to feed the seed?  Foundation being an understanding of what independence truly is and why its so important…not just teaching about how to be independent. 

As much as I sometimes tire of hearing myself speak, lol, I think another conversation is due.  Success, in my opinion, is truly rooted in a person’s ability to take on a task and master it for themselves.  ‘Each one teach one’ is difficult if you don’t pay attention to the initial lesson yourself.  You’ll mess around and teach the wrong things…and you are accountable for everything, I mean everything, that you teach or pass on to others.  Set an appropriate foundation and watch the fruit blossom.

~ Proverbs 28:10 Whoever misleads the upright into an evil way will fall into his own pit, but the blameless will have a goodly inheritance.

Your turn ~ What advice would you give about teaching the meaning of independence?  Or, what have you been taught about independence that you found invaluable? 

Just a Word

Anyone who knows me knows I’m a talker. I’ll talk about any and everything! Especially when it comes to my kids. I truly feel if we just take the time to talk to them, really talk to them (not just the superficial “Hey, How was school?”), we could learn a lot about them and they can learn a lifetime from us.

Over the last week I talked to my little short people about time management. Although I didn’t quite use those words, lol! I tried to explain and use the morning as an example. For instance, if you want to watch cartoons in the morning before school, make sure you wake up on time and don’t dilly dally while you are getting ready. Pretty basic concept, except to my 4 year old soldier Micah. I think he loves sleep as much as his momma!

Last night our discussion was about time and cleanliness. They love to camp out in the living room, all cuddled up together between the couches. It’s so cute, that I often let them sleep out there several nights during the week. But the issue became them leaving blankets and pillows all over my living room…every morning. So we had a nice little chat last night. Lol.

Sometimes I feel like my talks go on overkill, because I’m trying so hard to hammer the point into their heads in ways they won’t forget. Or I think they are just nodding their cute little heads just to get me to be quiet already. 🙂

I was pleasantly surprised this morning when I woke up with the 7 am alarm and everyone was already up. The living room was clean, everyone was dressed…and matching…and fed…and clean…at 7..am…with smiles and generous ‘Good Morning Mommy’s. I had to take a minute to wipe the crust out of my eyes and say “Am I still sleep?” Lol.

The talk worked! For now…Lol. But it truly was the greatest feeling in the world. Not just to see the kids get it all together, but just to know that they were really truly listening means the world to me. It means my kids care what I think and feel about them. They delight in making me happy and are very remorseful when they know they have disappointed me. It’s a beautiful relationship that we share. And I make sure they know that all of that work isn’t just so we look good, and people like us. All that work isn’t even really about pleasing me. It’s about guiding them towards their purpose in life. It’s pushing towards them having a stronger relationship with God, and having the desire to please Him in and with everything that we do.

I know I’m a proud parent this morning and I pray and believe that God is too!
Lets see what happens on Monday!! 😉

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