Tag Archives: love

#WCW

broken heart

photo courtesy of Trent Shelton Facebook and Rehab Time Organization

On this #WomanCrushWednesday I am channeling the vibes of Trent Shelton and charging women (including myself) to love yourself.

It has been difficult for me to learn how to love me; love the woman God created, and the path that He wants me to travel.  It took a long time of trial and error (more errors than anything) to learn how to protect my heart…I always looked for love from others, expecting that their love would be enough.  It never was and never will be.

Remember that God’s love is sufficient; but we will never experience even the fullness of God’s love if we don’t learn how to love ourselves the way God loves us.  And that’s not selfish…at all.

Chasing After You

Photo courtesy of Heaven’s Harvest on Facebook

The last few weeks have been a real struggle for me. Truth be told, the past few years haven’t been my best.  When I write or speak to anyone, I don’t profess to have all the answers.  I try to only speak on things that I have experienced in the hopes that my friends and family won’t make the same mistakes that I have.  But lately it seems with every good word that comes out of my mouth, a mile of strife follows.

It’s hard to keep the focus and remember whose I am.  I realize I have been writing about this a lot, as I am trying to learn and walk my way through it.  Every day I am faced with a new challenge, a new battle, and it ‘feels’ as if it’s wearing me down.  My friend jokingly told me the other day that I am all over the place, though I am sure it was concern masked behind a smile.  Some days I am up, and some days I am way down.  And that’s NOT God’s will for our life.

I don’t want to write on this blog in a manner that would suggest that I have it all figured out… God knows I don’t! But I want to share how good He is to me, even when I feel like I don’t deserve it.  His grace is sufficient and He is so forgiving.  Honestly, that is the only thing that keeps me smiling sometimes.  Noticing the little things He does for me during the day like changing the light to green as I am approaching when I’m running late, a butterfly in a tree that I noticed just by chance, the spark in my son’s eyes when I’m having a bad day.  I’m not ashamed to say that God talks to me everyday in the smallest ways, and those little messages mean so much to me.

I came into work today feeling good despite the fatigue that is resting on my shoulders.  When I opened up my email, my daily scripture was there waiting for me as usual.  And the verse just brought everything back to me full circle…..

Luke 10:41-42 And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.”

How good is God that He sends us little messages to let us know He is still here, still loving us, despite our mistakes and worries. No matter how many times I fall, my  ‘good part…will not be taken away’ and I am still chasing after you Father.

Now it’s your turn:  What ‘good part’ do you hold close to your heart to get you through the day?  Your method may be a revelation and blessing to someone else, so please feel free to share!

Just Hold On

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Photo reposted from Joel Osteen Ministries via Facebook

                                                                                                          Photo courtesy of Joel Osteen Ministries via Facebook

Making the choice to devote your life to God is one of the best and easiest choices you will ever make.  Following through with that decision is the hard part. 

Follow through has always been difficult for me.  I like to think of an idea, pass it on, then move on.  Or…I’ll start the project, then start another one, and then another one.  Weeks later, I’m swimming in deadlines and guilt.

In the past few weeks, I’ve learned that it all requires one step at a time.  No matter what you do, you can’t rush God’s plan; so you might as well take your time, enjoy the lesson and the test.  The key is truly knowing that every test can turn into a testimony if you grind you heels in and be determined to not give up or give in.

In all reality, my electric should be cut off right now; I barely have food in the fridge to get through the weekend.  But I refuse to worry about my needs… God already told me He would supply all my needs (Phil 4:19), and He has.  My electric is still on; my neighbor, who happens to be a chef, came by yesterday to see if we needed anything, because we were on his heart…

I can promise you, that if you make the committment to God, He will reward you with an enjoyable life, even in the midst of the trials.  Since I’ve committed – truly committed myself, opportunites are opening for me left and right!!  I have been invited to seminars and trainings that I normally would not have access to.  I’ve put down bad habits that used to feel like my lifeline and I no longer even have a remote yearning to indulge in that lifestyle anymore.  God took all that away, to provide me a better way.  Life has been challenging, but it is now far from dull and boring. 

I continue to “press toward the mark” (Phil 3:14), because I have no doubt that the best is yet to come.  Not just for me, but for all that choose to believe and recieve!

Stay blessed friends! 😉

Footprints in the sand ~ remixed

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Photo courtesy of Chytrausphoto via Instagram

Hip Hip Hooray!  What was once lost is now found! 

My house is kicking into high gear, anticipating the beginning of school and sports.  Not only are my children going back next week, but so am I!  I have been attending classes part time at a local community college for 2 semesters now, and with God’s blessing, I’ll be graduating with an Associates in Communication in the Spring.  Definitely something to look forward to!

We also have been blessed to celebrate several birthdays since my last post, including my daughter turning 15!  My head is still reeling from that one…lol. 

In the process of all these preparations and celebrations, I have been cleaning out supply drawers and hard drives.  Clearing out all of the reports from last semester, I found an old folder of my poetry.  I was amazed at what I have written in the past.  Some of it was truly boring!  But I was melancholy about where I was emotionally and spiritually.  Some of the poems sad, some happy, some vengeful.  All of them are true to the place of my heart, at the time.  Writing has always been my only real release…the only place where I can place my real feelings without guilt or consequence…and know that God still sees it, even though I didn’t speak it.  With every poem, a piece of me was grafted onto a slice of solace, to be archived for my hearts time capsule.

But I am at the point where I want to release even further.  So I’m going to share not just blog posts, but poems as well.  I admittedly don’t write poetry like I used to, but in sharing these poems, I’m hoping to rekindle the flame.  And through this process, please feel free to leave me feedback, good or bad or otherwise.  I promise I won’t be upset at any constructive criticism!

~this first one was inspired by a friends vacation photo, of the beach…mixed with another friends excitement over the moment he fell in love… hope you enjoy!

Footprints in the sand, remixed

 So beautiful she sits,

a shadow in the midst

of the son

~ and that she truly is.

Suns setting, waves crashing

Warm sand between our toes

Didn’t expect this weekend

to get to this.

Such intimacy

captured in a glimpse.

She turned to me,

hair 10 ways to the wind,

and handed me her scissors.

See, she’s a creative and crafty one.

Bag lady to some,

but in those bags are gifts galore.

And her smile indulges me even more.

She looked at me

With an intense stare and said,

“I want you to cut my hair.”

A moment passed as I pondered

Her odd request in a daze

But she never once broke her gaze.

“You see, I’m going ‘natural’

See all this new growth,” she giggled

as she fluffed her hair affectionately.

“But the ends are relaxed, dying.

With you I sense new beginnings,

new breathe, new life, thriving.

Cut away the dead ends

So we can move forward to

being more than just friends.”

Though I know nothing of cutting hair,

Her trust in me, her face, her eyes,

her prophecy over our lives,

made her request undeniable.

As I sat with her wrapped in my arms,

scissors in hand,

she sighed deeply and laid against my chest,

cradled to my heart.

I didn’t know how to do

what she wanted me to do.

And maybe she could tell.

She simply took my hand

and said, “Let God guide you”.

Is this the lesson?

As I cut away inch after inch,

praying for God’s guidance,

watching this woman yield to my hand,

which is yielded to His,

I simply fell in love.

~~~

Hope you enjoyed that!  Stay blessed friends! 😉

What to Perceive and What NOT to Perceive? That is the question!!

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One very frank lesson I learned the first week of my very first job, as a cashier at WaWa, was that you don’t poop where you work.  Now, I know that sounds strange.  It was spewed at me in a much different, kind of vulgar manner from a disgruntled co-worker who was venting, which I am sure you all can imagine.  We all have probably heard this cliché several times before.

I had to put this cliché in a whole new light last night for a close relative of mine.

Perception.

That’s the name of the game people.  We often think we are putting out one kind of vibe, while the person on the receiving end is perceiving your message quite differently.  Before the proverbial line gets drawn in the sand, here’s a little something to ponder on about perception.

In talking to my family member, he was gloriously detailing his relationship escapades.  How he talked to this one girl and she gave him her number, but later he got a number from this other girl, but yet in still he likes this other girl… But he just wants to be friends with all of them.  Yea, ok. (chuckle chuckle at how dumb he must think I am!)

So, I had no choice but to stop him in his tracks.  My spidey senses were tingling on a seizure type level at the impending teaching moment.  Listening to him, he was so caught up in how he perceived the situation, that he never really stopped to think of how those other girls may perceive his actions.

I dared to ask him, “What happens if they find out about each other, especially if they work together?”  The response was a typical one.  “I’m just being friendly, just want to hang out.”  I’m truly stepping out on a very thin limb here, but I don’t think women were built to function like that.  To just ‘hang out’ with no chance of commitment.  I know plenty of women who say they can, but they follow the same symptoms I expressed to my family member.

Even as friends, if there is even an inkling of admiration or desire there, perception of the situation can be come very cloudy.  The idea is that you’re just friends, but most women I know, go home and almost meditate on the time that was spent with the ‘friend’.  What he was wearing, his gestures, his flirtations (was he really flirting or just being nice?), how he looked at you, every word he says.  We analyze it all. 

I wanted to warn him, actually, educate him, to think of both sides of the fence.  Most often, we will put our own interests at the forefront, but I am hoping with this conversation, that he will start to think of the other person as well.  How they may read into or perceive his words and actions. More importantly, we have to be concerned with how God views our actions.  He is the one who truly knows the intent behind our actions.

This is a concept that I think we all could reflect on in our own lives.  Often times, we do things to pursue our own purposes and passions, but how often do we stop and think about how God is viewing our words and actions?  Do you ever think about how the other person may perceive you, or are you mainly focused on your own particular need?

In my head, honestly, all I could see was this situation going totally wrong and blowing up in his face. Or worse yet, it blows up in the girls faces…and their hearts.  God forbid if these girls actually have intimate feelings for him, and find out that he is spending time with her and the other girls.  I have seen it so many times before, where situations like that end up causing a virtual war between women, often unbeknownst to the male in between. 

Some men could care less, some might even enjoy that.  I would never want to breed that mentality into the hearts and souls of the men in my family.  If anything, I’m fighting to kill that thought at the door.

So I leave you with this last thought.  In a training I attended today, ironically, the agenda included a conversation about perception amongst office staff.  The trainer concluded the whole topic by saying, “The other persons perception of your actions is the true reality.”

Think of the verse listed above when you speak to others. See past what man sees and try to look at the situation through His eyes, then move forward.

Be blessed friends!

Plan B Aftermath: We Must Talk To Our Daughters About Sex

Plan B Aftermath: We Must Talk To Our Daughters About Sex.

I recently signed up to recieve daily inspirations from a website I stumbled upon called  www.empoweringeverydaywomen.com.  The websites founder, Dianna Hobbs, is a great source for inspiration and reflection.

The recent ruling regarding Plan B is a great concern for me, being the mother of a soon to be 14 year old daughter.  Having teenagers is a journey beyond any other, but with this decision coming down, our jobs have parents have become even more difficult than before. 

I have been in daily prayer as to guidance about how to talk to and be patient with my maturing daughter.  I felt like God answered my prayer, and since it helped me so much, I wanted to share this and hope that it will bless others as well.

Please go check out the website.  I’m sure you’ll be inspired as well. 

And leave me some feedback about your feelings about the recent decision regarding Plan B, and any tips on how you handle or approach teaching moments with your children.

ttyl all,

Selah 😉

NaPoWriMo ~ Day 11 ~ No Tanka for me

I have literally been stuck on creating a Tanka…with no success. Got 2 lines on the notepad and my brain went blank. Then life got a little crazy. The last two weeks are kind of a tangled technicolor blur…lol.

As I’m typing, I’m sitting in a hospital room with my fiancé. He has a history of seizures and had another one this morning. (He’s ok, they’re just running the usual tests.) Funny how life works.. One second life is rushing you through your paces and in the next, life will put you in a complete standstill.

So since I’m anchored for awhile, I can finally write and post some things. It’s feeling very therapeutic right now. 😉

Since I couldn’t accomplish the Tanka, I just let Poet speak. Here’s what she said…

This shouldn’t be

I shouldn’t love you.
Be
In love with you.

I shouldn’t think about
You
The ways that I do.

You deeply touch my
Heart
And I smile.

Those fleeting moments
Stay
In my head for a long while.

And I want you in my
Arms
But the harm that would cause

It always makes me
Pause
And withdraw

Can only take the pain of
Leaving
In fleeting gilded moments

We both know that this is
Hopeless…